Sometimes flash fiction happens to me.

Hoarfrost
(c) 2011 Maura Anderson

As the crescent moon sets, shadows deepen to ebon velvet and the relief of dawn seems a lifetime away. The night sky is now decorated only by the faint shimmer of distant stars, their meager light unable to warm the sharp, freezing air.

Slowly gathering in the depressions and hollows, a light mist begins to blanket the land. Icy tendrils flow out and fill the valleys, deepening from silver to grey as the growing fog works to block out even the light of the stars until the very land beneath it seems isolated from the rest of the world.

A place between the worlds of Sun and Moon. A time and place so temporary and so rare it bears no name of its own, yet it’s the only time she can walk the lands of man again.

The fog thickens and roils into a column, then a vague form emerges and solidifies into a tall, gracile female form. Clothed in flowing robes that changed from white to grey to midnight black in a shimmering pattern, her presence makes the very air weigh heavily and the residual warmth of the earth fades into a dusting of frost. Her white hair streams out behind her like tendrils of clouds and glistens with drops of ice.

Released, at least for a short while, from the prison of her own making, she wanders this small part of the land of man. All the life she has missed, all the plants and animals she lost through her own attempts to manipulate others. Slow tears flowed down her face only to drop frozen to the ground, a trail of diamonds to mark her path. A gently caress coats a crocus in glistening frost. A slight brush against a bush freezez tendrils water dripping from its branches into tiny icicles.

The first faint colors of dawn begin to drain away her cloak of fog and she knows her time here is over again. As she fades from the land of man, her last heavy sigh flows out over the branches of a tree and freezes instantly into the lacelike tendrils of her namesake, fragile and delicate. Even that beauty is doomed to disappear at sunrise, leaving only a memory and the faint scent of the wild and regret.

She is Hoarfrost.

I know readers are often curious about the inspiration for stories or characters and with my newest release, Forsake Not, out now, I wanted to take a moment to talk about what inspired it. I won’t talk about all parts of it, though, because I don’t want to put spoilers out there yet.

When I write, I’ve found I have to have a title to hang my story off of. The title is the story’s embodiment and, as I write, I often think about the title or how what I’m writing centers on that title. It keeps me grounded and on track. So I MUST have at least a good working title to focus on. I also tend toward short, simple titles. You can see that in my backlist. I don’t have a concrete explanation for that other than I think it gives both myself and my readers room for interpretation and different views.

In the case of Forsake Not, I’d already been thinking of the issue of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and I happen to have a son who is a US Army Infantry soldier. When I went to his OSUT graduation (the equivalent of extended bootcamp for the infantry – One Station Unit Training), these new soldiers all recited the Infantryman’s Creed and it really tugged at my heart.

Infantryman’s Creed

I am the Infantry.
I am my country’s strength in war,
her deterrent in peace.
I am the heart of the fight-
wherever, whenever.
I carry America’s faith and honor
against her enemies.
I am the Queen of Battle.

I am what my country expects me to be-
the best trained soldier in the world.
In the race for victory,
I am swift, determined, and courageous,
armed with a fierce will to win.

Never will I fail my country’s trust.
Always I fight on-
through the foe,
to the objective,
to triumph over all.
If necessary, I fight to my death.

By my steadfast courage,
I have won 200 years of freedom.
I yield not-
to weakness,
to hunger,
to cowardice,
to fatigue,
to superior odds,
for I am mentally tough,physically strong,
and morally straight.

I forsake not-
my country,
my mission,
my comrades,
my sacred duty.

I am relentless.
I am always there,
now and forever.

I AM THE INFANTRY!
FOLLOW ME!

When I remembered this recitation and thought about those serving in our military under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and forced to make choices between their personal lives and their sworn duty and this creed, I couldn’t help but have “Forsake Not” haunt me. They forsake not, but has their own country forsaken them?

So now you know where the title came from :)

Today is Veteran’s Day in the United States. I grew up near a Navy base and my father worked there as a civilian electronics engineer. My uncle was in the Air Force, my first husband was an ex-marine. So I have a lot respect and love for our military. Thank you, all of you, for your service.

Then my oldest son joined the Army. Yep – I’m an Army Mom. Regardless of what I feel about any particular choices of our government, I have a huge amount of love and respect for our military and those who volunteer to serve our country. I find Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell especially heartbreaking and I had already had a germ of the idea for Forsake Not for a while but when I heard MLR Press was going to produce an anthology for Veteran’s Day this year based around Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, I had to submit Forsake Not.

The anthology is available TODAY from MLR Press. I’m sure it will appear on other sites soon but it’s out NOW! And, as always, I’d love to hear what you think!

Blurb:
Our men and women in uniform sacrifice daily to serve our country. But what about the additional, voluntary sacrifice that each gay person in the military makes daily when they don their uniform? We ask these men and women to not only serve their country but serve in silence and denial, sacrificing not only their physical lives but their emotional ones too by denying them their right to love. Four talented authors weave tales that describe how living a lie pulls at the hearts and souls of good servicemen, whose only desire is to do their duty to their country…honorably. In AFTERBURNER, two fighter pilots let their hearts soar despite regulations. THE LOSS OF INNOCENCE STORE provides a glimpse into the U.S. Army prior to the institutionalization of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. A sniper and infantryman find that love eases the pain of being forsaken in FORSAKE NOT. And STRATEGIC MANEUVERS reveals the intricate steps that can lead to love while in uniform.

Here’s a new excerpt for you to enjoy.

Forsake Not
(c) 2010 by Maura Anderson

Leo jolted awake, bolted upright and reached out for his gun only to realize it wasn’t there. Hell, he wasn’t in his hootch at all. He wasn’t in Iraq anymore or even his base barracks. He rubbed his dry, scratchy eyes and forced them to focus on the sterile hotel room he’d rented, as his pulse slowed to a less panicked rate. A quick scan of the room showed nothing amiss. Why had he woken up?

Right.

He was in the hotel near Arlington he’d checked into yesterday when he’d decided to stay in Virginia instead of doing what he usually did on leave; hanging about on base. At least it was one of the longer-stay hotels, so he had a small kitchen and sitting room as well as a bedroom. It made it seem a little more like a home, however temporary— not that he’d really had one of those since the day after his high school graduation. The same day he’d enlisted in the Army. The same day he’d come out to his father who’d immediately disowned him, and hadn’t spoken or communicated with him since. As far as his father was concerned now, he had never existed, and if he had other relatives, he didn’t know them.

A wave of loneliness swept through him. The Army had become his focus and it seemed strange to be off-base and out of his normal life. The life he’d sacrificed a lot for, but the life that gave him a purpose and a feeling that he could make a difference. The life that might be ripped away because of one stupid loss of control. He needed to get his head on straight and he wanted to be near Terry until he had some idea of what was going to happen after his attack on Barker, and his announcement that he was gay. To hell with getting tricked into violating Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; no one had even had to trick him or ask, he’d nearly screamed his secret out instead. It seemed like a smart idea to not be near the base, or his fellow soldiers, right now.

God, he was a fucking moron.

Leo dropped his head into his hands and groaned. How could he have been so stupid? His cell phone chirped from across the room, and Leo’s head jerked upright. What the hell? No one ever seemed to call him—no one that was still living, anyway. Maybe the battery was low or something.

He tossed the covers off his legs and eased out of bed, stiff despite spending the night on a bed more comfortable than he’d even seen in six months, let alone slept in. The rough skin of his boot-worn bare feet caught on the commercial grade carpet as he walked over to retrieve his phone. The display showed one missed call and a message, but he didn’t recognize the phone number listed. Maybe it was a wrong number.

Leo pressed the button to retrieve his voicemail and stretched a bit while he waited through the stock voicemail greeting. When prompted, he pressed the button to play the recorded message.
“Lion, it’s Star. Sorry to interrupt your leave but I wanted to let you know I overheard Barker saying he reported the bar incident and what you said about being a fag to the CO today.” A long pause and Star continued, sounding a bit hesitant. “The team is behind you, you know. We have your six. Barker is a worthless ‘git and should be shot by someone— not necessarily the enemy either. I’ll let you know more as I get any intel. Later.”

Oh, crap. It had happened. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Maybe he could just lie and say he wasn’t gay at all; that he’d just said it to piss off Barker because he’d insulted a dead friend and teammate. It would be his word against Barker’s then, and the team would probably back him. No one trusted Barker anyway. God, but he hated lying, and he hated making other people lie for him even more.

But if he admitted he was gay, his career was down the crapper. He’d get discharged and not only would he be alone, he wouldn’t have the Army or the job he loved either.

Why the fuck had he been so stupid?